You bitch about annoying commercials in your den. I do it online. I'm lucky enough to watch TV for a living, which means I often have to watch it live. I don't get to FF over the commercials. There is snark ahead. You've been warned.

Friday, February 25, 2011

I'm never buying jeans from Old Navy again!

I've just realized how many times I've bitched about commercials on Facebook and Twitter. It's hardly surprising that they get the most responses. I did a blog post on Girl Meets Lightsaber a while back about how mascara commercials lie. I just don't understand how women can go out and buy tube after tube and still don't get that they use false lashes. Sure, they call them "lash inserts" but it's the same damn thing. That got posted all over the place.

There is something about commercials that sets people off. Sure, they can win over a crowd with humor or celebs doing crazy things. Even people like me who hate football will watch the Superbowl for the commercials. But when they go wrong, they go really, really wrong.

Take the latest ad campaign for Old Navy. A Kim Kardashian look-a-like singing a song about how cute she looks in jeans, even while getting a root canal and a traffic ticket. Then I see one with a song about ankles. Ankles? This is the next step after talking British mannequins? There is even an ankle dance. Look, I'm willing to cuff my jeans if that's what's in, but the stupid song has convinced me to stop shopping at Old Navy.



Oh yes. If your commercial irritates the fuck out of me, I'm not shopping there anymore. I don't care how clean your toilet paper makes my ass, I'm not buying anything sold by a family of bears. Especially bears that inspect the butts of their children for lint.

I'll be taking on everything from cell phone noises and alarm clocks in commercials to the blatant way T Mobile ripped off the Justin Long Mac vs. PC ads. I'll even post a few classics here and there. Many of you have seen this one before, but it's my very favorite. It's singing muppet pills that warn you they're not candy:


I'd love to hear what you think. Suggest commercials for me to go off on. Post videos. Tell me which ones you love...unless, of course, it's about talking food. Cereal should NOT hang out in hot tubs and comment on what is sticking out of their towels. Anyway, welcome to the blog.

12 comments:

  1. The thing that makes those Old Navy commercials even more annoying is the Shazam ad-in-ad. I don't want to find out where to get the song in your damn commercial-I can't even watch the whole thing without hitting mute!

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  2. Ha! I totally agree! Hell, I wish I could un-hear it!

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  3. I had to endure that wretched Old Navy commercial cranked to 11 at the movie theater last weekend. I'm still suffering from nightmares.

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  4. Yeah, not sure they had to tell me that the ankles are "them sexy little things about a foot below your knees." Sigh. I wasn't unaware of their location.

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  5. The two that jump first to mind are the Frosted Mini-Wheats animated character helping Mom with he calendar to plan out the week ("Julie has a test on Tuesday" "Sounds like a Mini-Wheat day.") and the one with the guy on the airplane asking the flight attendant for something for his back ache. She offers aspirin, and he explains, "No, I'm not having a heart attack." Really? Are there so many stupid people who don't know that aspirin is used for pain and headaches that it's worth a significant portion of your ad budget to launch a national TV campaign to re-educate them?

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  6. Kevin, I'm going to do an entire post about animated food. It freaks me the hell out. The cereal has a PET DOG made of cereal!

    You just gave me another idea for a post. Stupid people. Yeah, that Bayer commercial is a mess. He has to be my age. Maybe...maybe I could buy it if he was really young and didn't grow up with it, but I certainly took it for head aches as a kid.

    Oh, I'm going to have fun with this. Keep the ideas coming!

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  7. Talking cereal even scares my cartoon kids...

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  8. Here ya go!!! The Potty Dance commercial :

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-9Bq87czuY

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  9. ...or anything that has to do with my digestive tract: "Have some yogurt! Now with 150% more BUGS for your colon health!!" Great, Jaime. Happy for ya.

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  10. The one I think is particularly moronic is the commercial for Uloric, the gout pill, with the guy carrying around a giant erlenmeyer flask full of his excess uric acid.

    Now, I'm sure gout is a terrible and painful affliction, and your medication does wonders for the condition, but when I watch your commercials all I can think is, "Maybe if he just stopped carrying around that flask of uric acid..."

    Well, that and, "I bet uric acid is more of a yellow than a green," but maybe that's just me.

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  11. I remember there was that time when old Navy had those talking mannequin commercials right after the other. I don't understand what was the point in using the mannequins, and their mouths don't move when they talk. Actually, they don't move at all. You can also see those mannequins when you first enter the store. I haven't gone to Old Navy in a while, so I'm not sure if they're still there. My mother shops there, but then again, she's never seen any of their commercials.

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